Category Archives: excuses

‘Not today thank you.’

Selling can be a difficult task – selling over the phone can be horrendous. I have sold wine over the telephone for the last 12 years and I am generally treated very well and with respect but of course I sell a product that most people are interested in… Wine!

I understand that some telesales people are annoying, pushy and bring out our darker side. Many people have their own special ways of dealing with ‘unwanted’ telesales people and listed below are a few ways that you may or may not have used. (Obviously I never get any of these responses – as all my customers are lovely people and they want to hear from me.)

A real classic. Very simple and easy to adapt to whatever it is the telesales person is trying to sell.

Sales man/woman “I am from a  double glazing / health insurance / personal injury / wine company”

Potential customer ‘Oh we have all our windows done / My life is fully insured / I have not had an accident / I am teetotal.’

Simple and to the point. you can hang up then with a clear conscience.

Here however are some slightly more imaginative responses for some of the more annoying telesales people.

“I am not allowed to talk to strangers” Hang up.

“I am not allowed to play with sharp objects… do you like sponges?” await response then hang up. (My husband’s personal favourite)

“I am extremely interested in what you are saying, please continue” then hang up. If they call back repeat and continue until they give up.

“Are you the woman/man having an affair with my husband/wife?” ‘Er No Madam/Sir, I am trying to sell double glazing” Shout “That’s just a cover you are having an affair arn’t you?….” then hang up. (This obviously only works if you are the same sex as the telesales person.)

In response to the question “Hi Madam, how are you today?” I find telling them about all my ailments, past and present, is a great way to get a load off your chest. Then hang up.

“I am recording this conversation and anything you say can and will be used in evidence – continue with your sales pitch.” wait for them to hang up.

The most simple and easy way is “Not today thank you” then hang up.

My personal favourite thing to say to a telesales person is “Oh thank you Alex I will have 2 cases of the white and one of the red please.”

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Alex the Wine Lady

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Filed under Alex the Wine Lady, Bat and Bottle, excuses, Funny, Telesales, Uncategorized, Wine